Welcome to Strange Candy Reviews, gentlemen. How are you both?
(Sinjin sits on the couch next to me and Rand takes a seat in a chair across from us both)
Rand: Very well, thank you and thank you for having us.
Sinjin: (offering me a flirtatious smile) I am well, Ms. McLeary, thank you.
(blushing) You've know each other for a while. How did you meet?
(Sinjin glances at Rand but Rand stares straight ahead and his jaw is tight).
Sinjin: That is a bit of a loaded question, Love. We got off on quite the wrong foot, so to speak.
Rand: Sinjin seduced my best mate's sister.
(Sinjin just smiles guiltily)
Okay....What was your impression when you first met Jolie?
(Rand’s anger softens and the tightness in his jaw relaxes)
Rand: Jolie is a very gifted witch and when we first met, I knew she would not disappoint me. I’d come very far to find her, not even then realizing exactly how powerful she is.
Sinjin: Lovely story, Randall, but that was not the question.
(Rand looks uncomfortable)
Sinjin: What did you think of Jolie’s physical attributes?
(Rand narrows his eyes)
Rand: Jolie is beautiful.
Sinjin: Yes, quite so. And when dressed in fairy garb, she’s even more intoxicating…lovely legs and a small waist with ample…
So, um, Rand, what do you wear when you sleep?
Sinjin: I believe that is answer enough.
(I clear my throat, also blushing) I kinda had that one coming.
Sinjin, in your opinion, what's you best feature?
Sinjin: Personality or physically speaking, Love? If physically speaking, I believe Jolie quite appreciated my eyes. (Throws Rand a knowing smile) and personality wise, why my winning sense of humor.
You do have very nice eyes, among other things. Oh my God. Did I say that out loud?
(Sinjin just laughs and offers me a knowing smile)
Ah, next question. You both been around for a while, what's the most interesting thing you've seen and/or done?
Rand: The last time I was rendered speechless was when Jolie managed to reanimate a ghost and brought him back to life. I’d merely hired her to find out who killed him. That was quite a surprise!
(Rand faces him with a perturbed expression)
Rand: And what, Sinjin, is the most interesting situation you’ve encountered recently? Please enlighten us.
Sinjin: No need to be a todger, Randall. The most enjoyable situation of late was drinking Jolie’s blood.
(Rand looks like he’s about to explode).
Rand: Did you have to bring that up? You know how…
Sinjin: Yes, Randall, I was merely answering the question posed to me. (He faces you with a big smile, revealing the points of his fangs). But I am afraid, Love, your readers will have to wait until the release of Toil and Trouble to learn the specifics.
You're both um, pretty attractive guys, what's your best line to pick up a woman?
Rand: I don’t believe I’ve ever used a pick up line on any woman.
Sinjin: Thank you for the compliment, Pet. As to, what do you call them, one lines?
Rand: One liners
Sinjin: Ah yes, one liners, I must agree with the warlock. I have not ever required the need for a pick up line. But, if I had to think of one…hmmm…is that a stake in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?
Right, stupid question. Don't know why I thought you'd need a line.
It seems I have an uncanny knack for embarrassing myself. Thanks for bearing with me. So Sinjin, what's it like being a vampire? The biggest perk? And Rand, what's it like being a warlock?
(Sinjin steeples his fingers and appears thoughtful)
Sinjin: Depending upon your persuasion, the ability to live forever could be considered the biggest perk, as you say. I, myself, believe it to be as such. I also quite enjoy your human fascination with the vampire. And, of course, there is always the perk of tasting the blood of a beautiful woman.
Rand (rolling his eyes): I quite enjoy the responsibility involved in possessing extraordinary powers—how important it is to protect those who are less able to protect themselves.
Sinjin: Really, Randall, you aren’t running for public office.
(I hide a smile behind my hand)
Rand: It is increasingly difficult to have a discussion with you, Ms. McLeary, with this bloody bastard’s comments at every turn.
Sinjin: Astonishing Ms. McLeary, it appears your warlock guest does have a bit of life within him after all.
It would appear so, yes. But it would help if you didn't keep pushing his buttons, Sinjin. Don't worry, Rand, the interview is almost over. I just have a few more questions.
Chocolate or vanilla?
Sinjin: Neither. I do not recall what either tastes like.
Boxers or briefs?
Sinjin (with a lascivious smile): Neither.
Summer or winter?
Rand: I quite love an English summer and summer at Pelham Manor is even more lovely.
Sinjin: I prefer winter. Summer is an unpleasant reminder I will never see the sun.
Do either of you have a favourite band/musician?
Rand: I go through phases with regard to my musical interests but seem to always return to classical music. I find myself repeatedly listening to Smetana of late, specifically Die Moldau.
Sinjin: Unlike Randall who reveals his advanced age not only by his musical tastes but also by his choice of clothing, my musical interests lean more toward the eclectic. Most recently, I have been listening to indie music. In fact, Jolie and I discussed my musical interests in Toil and Trouble when I played the song Blah Blah Blah by Say Hi To Your Mom for her. (He faces Rand with a smug smile). Incidentally, she loved it.
Sinjin, are there any ladies on your radar? Besides Jolie.
(Sinjin glances at Rand with a twinkle in his eye)
Sinjin: No. I find myself quite smitten with the witch.
(Rand pretends extreme interest in his feet while his face flushes and his ears go crimson red).
Rand, do you enjoy having Jolie live with you?
(Rand releases the clench of his fists)
Rand: Yes, though it can be frustrating at times. I constantly have to battle between knowing I should maintain my distance due to our employer/employee circumstance and acting on my more primitive emotional notions.
Sinjin: Interesting, Randall. I was not aware you had primitive emotions, or emotions at all for that matter. And what, pray tell, would those emotions be?
Rand: Sinjin, I’ve had about all I can stomach of you.
Sinjin: You have a tendency to avoid direct questions.
(Rand throws Sinjin a glare)
Rand: Jolie and I are much closer than you and she will ever be. Is that direct enough for you?
Thank you for joining me gentlemen. It has been a, ah, interesting experience. I'm looking forward to reading more about all of you in Toil and Trouble.
(Sinjin seems unfazed but Rand looks like he’s about to explode).
Sinjin: Thank you, Ms. McLeary, I look forward to when next we meet.
(Rand stands up and offers me a curt nod and a quick handshake, refusing to glance at Sinjin).
Rand: Thank you for the interview and I hope your readers enjoy it. I’m terribly sorry but I simply can’t stand Sinjin any longer.
Sinjin and I watch Rand leave. Sinjin turns a big grin on me, standing up.
Sinjin: I suppose we cannot please them all, Love.
You can read all about Rand, Sinjin and Jolie in Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble. Available through:
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