Welcome
to Strange Candy Reviews, gentlemen. How are you both?
(Sinjin
sits on the couch next to me and Rand takes a seat in a chair across from us both)
Rand:
Very well, thank you and thank you for having us.
Sinjin:
(offering me a flirtatious smile) I am well, Ms. McLeary, thank you.
(blushing)
You've know each other for a while. How did you meet?
(Sinjin
glances at Rand but Rand stares straight ahead and his jaw is tight).
Sinjin:
That is a bit of a loaded question, Love. We got off on quite the
wrong foot, so to speak.
Rand:
Sinjin seduced my best mate's sister.
(Sinjin
just smiles guiltily)
Okay....What
was your impression when you first met Jolie?
(Rand’s
anger softens and the tightness in his jaw relaxes)
Rand:
Jolie is a very gifted witch and when we first met, I knew she would
not disappoint me. I’d come very far to find her, not even then
realizing exactly how powerful she is.
Sinjin:
Lovely story, Randall, but that was not the question.
(Rand
looks uncomfortable)
Sinjin:
What did you think of Jolie’s physical attributes?
(Rand
narrows his eyes)
Rand:
Jolie is beautiful.
Sinjin:
Yes, quite so. And when dressed in fairy garb, she’s even more
intoxicating…lovely legs and a small waist with ample…
Rand:
Sinjin!
So,
um, Rand, what do you wear when you sleep?
(Rand
blushes)
Sinjin:
I believe that is answer enough.
(I
clear my throat, also blushing) I kinda had that one coming.
Sinjin,
in your opinion, what's you best feature?
Sinjin:
Personality or physically speaking, Love? If physically speaking, I
believe Jolie quite appreciated my eyes. (Throws Rand a knowing
smile) and personality wise, why my winning sense of humor.
You
do have very nice eyes, among other things. Oh my God. Did I say that
out loud?
(Sinjin
just laughs and offers me a knowing smile)
Ah,
next question. You both been around for a while, what's the most
interesting thing you've seen and/or done?
Rand:
The last time I was rendered speechless was when Jolie managed to
reanimate a ghost and brought him back to life. I’d merely hired
her to find out who killed him. That was quite a surprise!
Sinjin:
Yawn.
(Rand
faces him with a perturbed expression)
Rand:
And what, Sinjin, is the most interesting situation you’ve
encountered recently? Please enlighten us.
Sinjin:
No need to be a todger, Randall. The most enjoyable situation of late
was drinking Jolie’s blood.
(Rand
looks like he’s about to explode).
Rand:
Did you have to bring that up? You know how…
Sinjin:
Yes, Randall, I was merely answering the question posed to me. (He
faces you with a big smile, revealing the points of his fangs). But I
am afraid, Love, your readers will have to wait until the release of
Toil and Trouble to learn the specifics.
You're
both um, pretty attractive guys, what's your best line to pick up a
woman?
Rand:
I don’t believe I’ve ever used a pick up line on any woman.
Sinjin:
Thank you for the compliment, Pet. As to, what do you call them, one
lines?
Rand:
One liners
Sinjin:
Ah yes, one liners, I must agree with the warlock. I have not ever
required the need for a pick up line. But, if I had to think of
one…hmmm…is that a stake in my pocket or am I just happy to see
you?
Right,
stupid question. Don't know why I thought you'd need a line.
It
seems I have an uncanny knack for embarrassing myself. Thanks for
bearing with me. So Sinjin, what's it like being a vampire? The
biggest perk? And Rand, what's it like being a warlock?
(Sinjin
steeples his fingers and appears thoughtful)
Sinjin:
Depending upon your persuasion, the ability to live forever could be
considered the biggest perk, as you say. I, myself, believe it to be
as such. I also quite enjoy your human fascination with the vampire.
And, of course, there is always the perk of tasting the blood of a
beautiful woman.
Rand
(rolling his eyes): I quite enjoy the responsibility involved in
possessing extraordinary powers—how important it is to protect
those who are less able to protect themselves.
Sinjin:
Really, Randall, you aren’t running for public office.
(Rand
frowns)
(I
hide a smile behind my hand)
Rand:
It is increasingly difficult to have a discussion with you, Ms.
McLeary, with this bloody bastard’s comments at every turn.
(Sinjin
laughs)
Sinjin:
Astonishing Ms. McLeary, it appears your warlock guest does have a
bit of life within him after all.
It
would appear so, yes. But it would help if you didn't keep pushing
his buttons, Sinjin. Don't worry, Rand, the interview is almost over.
I just have a few more questions.
Chocolate
or vanilla?
Rand:
Chocolate
Sinjin:
Neither. I do not recall what either tastes like.
Boxers
or briefs?
Rand:
Boxers
Sinjin
(with a lascivious smile): Neither.
Summer
or winter?
Rand:
I quite love an English summer and summer at Pelham Manor is even
more lovely.
Sinjin:
I prefer winter. Summer is an unpleasant reminder I will never see
the sun.
Do
either of you have a favourite band/musician?
Rand:
I go through phases with regard to my musical interests but seem to
always return to classical music. I find myself repeatedly listening
to Smetana of late, specifically Die Moldau.
Sinjin:
Unlike Randall who reveals his advanced age not only by his musical
tastes but also by his choice of clothing, my musical interests lean
more toward the eclectic. Most recently, I have been listening to
indie music. In fact, Jolie and I discussed my musical interests in
Toil and Trouble when I played the song Blah Blah Blah by Say Hi To
Your Mom for her. (He faces Rand with a smug smile). Incidentally,
she loved it.
Sinjin,
are there any ladies on your radar? Besides Jolie.
(Sinjin
glances at Rand with a twinkle in his eye)
Sinjin:
No. I find myself quite smitten with the witch.
(Rand
pretends extreme interest in his feet while his face flushes and his
ears go crimson red).
Rand,
do you enjoy having Jolie live with you?
(Rand
releases the clench of his fists)
Rand:
Yes, though it can be frustrating at times. I constantly have to
battle between knowing I should maintain my distance due to our
employer/employee circumstance and acting on my more primitive
emotional notions.
Sinjin:
Interesting, Randall. I was not aware you had primitive emotions, or
emotions at all for that matter. And what, pray tell, would those
emotions be?
Rand:
Sinjin, I’ve had about all I can stomach of you.
Sinjin:
You have a tendency to avoid direct questions.
(Rand
throws Sinjin a glare)
Rand:
Jolie and I are much closer than you and she will ever be. Is that
direct enough for you?
Thank
you for joining me gentlemen. It has been a, ah, interesting
experience. I'm looking forward to reading more about all of you in
Toil and Trouble.
(Sinjin
seems unfazed but Rand looks like he’s about to explode).
Sinjin:
Thank you, Ms. McLeary, I look forward to when next we meet.
(Rand
stands up and offers me a curt nod and a quick handshake, refusing
to glance at Sinjin).
Rand:
Thank you for the interview and I hope your readers enjoy it. I’m
terribly sorry but I simply can’t stand Sinjin any longer.
Sinjin
and I watch Rand leave. Sinjin turns a big grin on me, standing up.
Sinjin:
I suppose we cannot please them all, Love.
You can read all about Rand, Sinjin and Jolie in Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble. Available through:
Visit H.P Mallory at:
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Leave a comment to win either a copy of Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble, or To Kill a Warlock (Dulcie O'Neil, book 1). Giveaway ends 6th November. Please leave your email address, so I can pass it on to H.P if you win!
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The second book in the Jolie Wilkins series is set to be released on January 1st! I'm so excited!!
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